What Makes A Writer?

This is dedicated to those who have laid a pen on paper; to those who share a passion for the written word.

Should you ever find yourself lost at a crossroads with your worst enemy, the block, lingering at the corner of your shoulder, always remember the kind of person you choose to be as a writer, and how you relate with it to the world:

1. Writers are trendsetters. While they may not be the pioneers for establishing brand new literary genres, they are the first to set its boundaries in terms of style and substance. They play by their rules. Sometimes they transcend out of the box, and it is their uniqueness which sets them apart from others of the same kind.

2. Writers are free-thinkers. In that sense, they have their own set of beliefs – that good will triumph over evil, a solution must be made for every conflict set, and that not everyone is as good as they seem. But mostly, a writer believes that he has a story to tell, and that the world is an audience just waiting for him to spread their words.

3. Writers are manipulators. They not only play with their words, but they play with your emotions. And it doesn’t matter what kind of genre they choose to write under – they are known to break spirits, pull at heartstrings, and even stir up feelings of old. But by the end of the day, they turn out to be charmers, because they’ll assure you there is such a thing as a happily ever after.

4. The writer is a dreamer. There is never a moment when you don’t catch him living in a world of his own. He may be listening to your conversations and even participate in social interactions, but his mind is wandering elsewhere, probably thinking up new stories, plots, characters and what should he name his next creation.

5. Writers are inspirationists. You pick up a book by your favourite author, find it to be the best read ever, and go “Damn, I wish I’d written this instead!” How often have you felt that way, and then decide you’ll write the next best thing, while inspired to find your own writing style and voice?

6. Writers are perfectionists. Every word, every sentence must be lined up piece by piece like an exact puzzle. But they know that they will never be satisfied with the final result. So they cut out, extend, shorten and add in words; hacking at every detail like an ice sculpture until it resembles perfection in all of its grandeur.

7. Writers are collectors. The average person knows of about 20,000 words, but only uses 2,000 of them in his vocabulary. A writer knows more, and collects words for his lexicon. Writers are also bibliophiles. They worship and treasure each book they have collected even better than the last, like a priceless gem.

8. The writer is the human equivalent of the sphinx. What you see on the outside is just a reflection; an exterior of the shell that only shows you what you see. He is mysterious, exclusive and keeps to himself. Secrets are a plenty within him, but don’t expect to read him like an open book – for he won’t tell you anything.

9. A writer is an artist. With his hand in grip of the pen or his fingers at the keyboard, that blank piece of paper or that empty screen starts off as his canvas. Ink flows in a writer’s blood, and it is conveyed as a string of words, lines, or sentences to create a masterpiece. His hands prance about gracefully, from which bears the fruit of music or artwork – in black and white.

10. Writers are the gods. They are idolized for being the creators of worlds and for producing believable characters with life of their own. Writers alone determine the fate of their universe and those who choose to call it home. A writer also lives free of his guilt as an executioner. For with a snap of the wrist and a sentence put down, they can end the lives they created if they choose to.

We are all of these. And yet, we are not.
Because what we choose to convey through our words, we choose to be ourselves.

If Life Was A Quentin Tarantino Movie...

The universe of the malicious master of the macacbre is well-known for being bold, loud and in-your-face. So, whether you choose or not to live your life as a gun-toting hitman, a wandering swordsman, or even a Basterd, here are 10 cool reasons to live for if life was a Quentin Tarantino movie:

1. No one is ever going to reprimand you for carrying a weapon (katana, morning star, baseball bat etc.) wherever you go.

2. You must have seriously bad-ass potential if the world pauses for a moment to reveal your name on screen. (Even better if it's accompanied by blaring music; think Hugo Stiglitz!)

3. Applies to girls only, but you can get away with plotting your revenge on that unfortunate bastard who's screwed up your life.

4. The best confrontations are the ones that take place in F&B outlets.

5. Unless you're prepared to face some serious bad shit, don't go into the toilet. (pun intended)

6. If you've been given a nickname (Apache, Bear Jew, Black Mamba, The Wolf etc.), be very proud of it and live up to that name.

7. A Mexican standoff has many different meanings and variations (guns vs guns, little gun vs big shotgun, katana vs katana, machinegun in the basement vs grenades above ready to blow).

8. You get your final say as you quote Biblical phrases or information off the Internet before you send your enemy to his/her death.

9. It doesn't matter if you're speaking in a completely foreign language; others will understand you directly.

10. Every baddy gets to deliver a monologue of great importance (Bill's superhero/alter-ego theory, Hans Landa's perception of the beastly rat, etc.), which means something serious is about to go down.

Airbending? More Like Nerve-Wrecking

It's official: M Night Shaymalan is destroying children's and fans' dreams of watching their favourite TV series become a reality on the movie screen. Thank goodness that James Cameron stole the title rights to Avatar, or else that name would stick as a permanent flop. Effective CGIs and graphics sometimes aren't enough to cover a storyline so full of holes; you'd think the whole plot was cheese(y).

So what exactly makes The Last Airbender so nerve wrecking?

1. It is almost impossible to cram 20 episodes of Season 1 to make a 90 minute movie. So much of the essence and quality that made the original TV series so enjoyable to watch is suddenly lost.

2. The most obvious failure of The Last Airbender is the lack of humour found not just in the movie, but what define the characters. As a child, Aang is lively, a bit childish and just wants to have fun, which doesn't happen. Not even one smile from movie Aang. And we all know Sokka with his sense of dry wits. Ok, so we see a little of that in film, but Sokka is supposed to be over-the-top with his 'The earth is doomed!' attitude.

3. Katara dear, it's nice that you're giving us the introduction to the movie just like you do at the beginning of every episode. But you don't have to tell us what's happened or going on every 20 minutes. That's the main point of any form of entertainment: show, don't tell.

4. There's a reason why Fire Lord Ozai's face is kept hidden until Season 3. Just like Darth Vader, we want to get that impending presence of a partially-known villain who reigns havoc on the screen. (Ironic, since the voice of Ozai is Mark Hamill a.k.a Luke Skywalker) Plus, the film version of Ozai is far less from looking authorative and demonic.

5. Why are all the Firebenders freaking out when Iroh is able to manifest his own fire? That's supposed to happen in the series! And why is Firebending reduced so degradingly to the fact that you need an external source of flames? It's called harnessing the power of the sun, morons.

6. To heat things up a bit, there should have been a duel between two masters of the same element. And there were two important duels of the sort in Season 1. Zuko fought against Zhao in an Agni Kai because the latter insulted the former about being a disgrace to his father. Katara duelled Master Pakku to prove she could fight as equally as the men in the North Pole (you see, there is a point of degrading feminism). Besides, such scenes could have added an extra 10 minutes or more.

7. Shortage of time also means lack of expansion for the characters. Iroh was more fun to watch in the series (he was always the Mr. Miyagi type!). And Zuko isn't as hot-tempered and arrogant as I remembered him in the series. At least his portrayal of a tortured soul looking for redemption is something you can see in Dev Patel (who did the same with Jamal in Slumdog Millionaire).

Having said that, I need to re-watch the entire first season to clear my mind of what was tarnished in an epic masterpiece. Damn you, Shaymalan.

Quick Pinch of Salt

Q: What does a housewife, an archeologist, a fox, a tigress and a pinch of salt have in common?

A: Apart from being Angelina Jolie, they all get to kick some butt.

I was fortunate enough to catch an early screening of Salt, but didn't realise that it only lasted for about 90 minutes or so. The trailer was certainly enought to fool me, but there's a sly plot twisted within its storyline. And the ending was screaming: Got to have a sequel!

Sometimes, you have endings that complete the full circle, but it's out of fandom and wanting more that the movie industry tries to please us by making sequels. And then, there those endings which leave you suspended in the air, and you're wondering what's just happened? Surely there's got to be answers.

Salt does that.

And what it shares with favourite movies of mine such as Kill Bill and Inglourious Basterds is the general idea that:

A) Feminism has a new rise in the film industry. No longer the damsels in distress in action movies, there's a new take to the term 'women warriors'.

B) When women are oppressed, scorned and betrayed, they want their revenge. And they're not afraid to get down and dirty, or even break a nail just to see some blood shed.

The question you should be asking, or rather, the tagline for this movie, isn't "Who is Salt?" but "Who the hell is really in the CIA?"